For one, hopefully in 2016 I should be starting film school WHILE still going to my normal high school. Crazy right? I'm going to be a film director or whatever there interests me most. I'm nervous and excited but I have my friends and family supporting me all the way! On the note of filming, I've been creating a lot more short films lately--mainly with friends. It's something I really enjoy doing and can see myself being successful in.
Also this month, December of 2015, is my birth month and from the day this post is being written there are ten more days until I'm officially 16. The day after my birthday I have Winter Guard practice so I think there'll be a small celebration with the other guard girls (and guy). It's also the last full week of school before my winter break--meaning the last full week before my gaming and movie marathon! First, gotta survive these finals!
On a darker note, I've been slowly falling back into my depression I tried so hard to escape for good. For a while, it went away and stayed away. Now it's back and I have moments in time where it all seems so hopeless and pointless. Other moments, I'm smiling and laughing as if my thoughts and feelings aren't eating me alive. I'll go back and forth maybe a few times a day. Music helps greatly though and so does ignoring everyone around me. It's just tough lately and I constantly feel trapped in my environments.
In the field of love and relationships, the luck is NOT on my side. Honestly, it's to the point I'm really just done feeling things for people. I've been hurt, used, rejected, and full on avoided. Some people can't figure out just what exactly they want or expect from me. Well, know what? If you dont know for sure you want me, don't chase me. Don't let me believe there's hope, because in the end it's not what you actually wanted and now it's too late anyways.
That's all I can really think of to say right now. It's just a small update in the world of Mkitty.
